The A Team is a delightful couple comprised of a former colleague of mine, Lord A, and his lovely girlfriend, Lady A. (Yes, both of their names start with A in real life, they liked the idea of being called “The A Team,” and Lord A likes any opportunity to be referred to as a knight or something fancy.) They are taking a very adult step and moving in together. Ooh lala!
The Lord is a super smart and talented attorney who practices some sort of really high falutin’ law. He and I worked together in our first year after law school, and shared an office smaller than many closets I’ve seen. Our time together was spent pursuing justice, learning our craft, expanding our minds, and throwing paper balls at one another. Spending 40+ hours a week in an itty bitty space with a person has the potential for disaster, but Lord A and I were lucky, and emerged with a weird and wonderful friendship.
Lady A works in public health, and is changing the world. She is awesome, and though I’ve not known her as long as Lord A, I’m fairly certain she’s as cool as he is, if not cooler. (Sorry, Lord.) She and I share a love of brunch and redecorating, particularly redecorating the place she and The Lord will be sharing.
The A Team asked me to help them merge their assets, as it were, and start their new home together off on an organized foot. It was a fun challenge! Here’s what they wanted:
The A Team’s Closet Conundrums
We’ve all got issues. What are yours? What are you looking to get out of this?
The Lord: Merger. [Bitchy Note: Oh good, he’s going to be difficult.]
The Lady: We’re merging the possessions of two-people into a space that has previously housed only one. We need a logical solution to fit and organize our stuff within a small space, in a way that works with our lifestyle (e.g. things we need are easy to access, and maintaining the organizational system doesn’t take a lot of effort).
I have a particular tendency to drop stuff where it is when I walk in the door or am in a rush, and it just builds up in weird places. Once it builds, I get used to it being there and don’t address it until I absolutely have to, so a system that incorporates designated places for me to put my handbag, mail, bills, etc. would be perfect!
The Lord has a tendency to hold onto things for a while when he doesn’t need them. A solution that has limited, dedicated space for preparing for the zombie apocalypse would be appreciated by him, I think. [Bitchy Note: He’s serious about this zombie apocalypse thing. I don’t get it.]
How much space are we working with? How many closets? Walk-ins or not? Drawer space?
One double-wide, non-walk-in closet; one normal sized closet; kitchen cabinets.
Any pet peeves? (For example, do you want everything hanging in your closet because you hate folding stuff and putting it in drawers?)
The Lord: “Having The Lady’s stuff here.” *insert happy laughter* In seriousness, “…I’ll know [my pet peeves] when I see [them]” [Bitchy Note: Buttering me up with a riff on my favorite SCOTUS quote, I see. #PotterStewartWasABaller]
The Lady: I don’t like systems that take a lot of energy to maintain. I’m a fan of having drawers/boxes where I can “stuff” my socks, underwear, bras (I have zero intention of treating them the way I am supposed to) so I don’t have to fold them. [Bitchy Note: Oh, you’ll treat them the way you’re supposed to by the end of this.] I guess I have a small pet peeve about over the door shoe holders that can only fit one normal-sized shoe in each compartment, but this has more to do with efficiency and false-advertising. [Bitchy Note: Me too, Lady! Preach it!]
Any strong opinions about what you want or don’t want? (For example, do you happen to love wooden hangers?)
The Lord: I like wooden hangers…?... [Bitchy Note: Pipe down.]
The Lady: I’m kind of rough with my stuff, very grab and go, so I prefer durable materials/pieces that can hold up to my abuse!
Anything else I should know?
The Lord: Clearly, one of us put more thought into these answers than the other. [Bitchy Note: Shocking.]
The Lady: I really like being able to see, grab and re-hang things easily, and having a place for everything, so maybe room to grow as I get more clothes. I also re-wear a lot of my clothes before washing them, so having space to keep clothes to re-wear; maybe hooks inside the door or something would help keep the apartment clean.
Based on their questionnaire, I was a little trepidatious going into the consult. I was already fully aware of The Lord’s zombie apocalypse/refusal to get rid of stuff tendencies, but his answers had me feeling like Nigel in The Devil Wears Prada when Miranda moves up the run through. You know what I’m talking about.
However, the consult was really smooth. After evaluating their space and their assets, I provided The A Team with my suggestions. Lady A was sweet and helpful and open from the get go, as expected. However, so was Lord A! My practical, efficient, rational suggestions appealed to his logical nature. I was pretty darn surprised. It was like I’d won an oral argument in front of a hot bench with a known surly judge. After that, I got super excited about coming back for round two!